So You Wish You Could Dance

True Confession ~ I can't dance.
I don't mean I dance poorly. I'm not even implying that I resemble Elaine from Seinfeld when I shake my 'groove thang'. I mean that I, Ms. Fairly Well Adjusted, Been on the Planet for *coughalmost40cough* years, literally do not know how to dance and in fact, have never actually danced for really real, in public ~ with or without a partner.

Take a minute to let that sink in ... I'll wait.

First of all, you should know it's all my parents' fault. Whaaat? I've exceeded the statute of limitations on that one? All right, fine *grumble* I'll take some responsibility for getting to this point in my life without acquiring this seemingly basic 'life skill' ... butttt, I think not being allowed to attend school dances (or even take dance during gym class, if my memory serves me correctly) put me at a clear disadvantage, don't you? *nod with me*

Like lots of my friends at the time, I was raised in a very conservative home, in a very small town and dancing was just one item on a long list of "Thou shalt not's". There were other classmates who also sat out, so it actually didn't seem like a big deal at the time. I never felt I was being deprived of anything 'important' and to be honest, I was probably relieved not to be put in a situation where I might feel self-conscious or out of my element.

While my 'flair for over-dramatization' (in case you hadn't picked up on that yet) would lead me to portray myself as being scarred for life and saddled with shame due to my 'repressive' childhood, the reality is that even with unlimited access to dance floors and dance partners, it's unlikely that I'd be any more skilled or experienced than I am now. I've always been a 'stay out of the limelight, hold the coats 'n purses, snap the pictures while everyone else rushes the stage' kind of girl and the only time I really feel left out - and well, kinda dumb - these days is at weddings. I absolutely love watching people who have great rhythm take to the floor and envy their confidence and grace.

My parents recently attended a family wedding and while relaying the details of the occasion my Mom mentioned that she and my Dad had DANCED (*gasp* more than once!) at the reception and had a lovely time. All I could think was, "Gee, thanks for changing the rules NOW you two!" See? Told you it was all their fault! *grin*

Nemo risum praebuit, qui ex se coepit.