You Can Say That Again

"There are times when parenthood seems nothing but

feeding the mouth that bites you."

~ Peter de Vries

Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit.

21 (Give or Take) Things

Alanis Morissette sings about the "21 things" she wants in a lover and each time I hear the song I wonder how my list of "not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer" might read. Ever the underachiever, however, I immediately decide that 21 is a really, really big number and I should probably whittle my version down to a modest 12 ... or if my attention span wanes ('oh look, something sparkly!') then perhaps a scant 5 would fit the bill.

Building on her "I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter" here's my DRAFT wish list (I saw that eye roll *points finger in direction of a smirking BWSRN*) ya know, off the top of my head ...

1. Someone who can/will hang a picture or assemble a piece of furniture without having a tempter tantrum rivalling that of a 2 year old child.
2. Someone who will look after all things automotive. I want to drive the car; this is the extent of my interest.
3. Someone who knows his way around Home Depot - more specifically, the paint dept. *fantasizes about crossing 're-do rec room' off list of jobs to avoid, delay and/or pawn off*
4. Someone who would offer to lug the groceries and 92 lb bag of cat litter into the house ... before hell freezes over.
5. Someone who agrees that ironing is an archaic, repressive domestic task best left to dry cleaners (or his mom when she visits).
6. Someone who believes the above 'duties' to be the very definition of a rockin' good time!

(Note: I figured including "Someone who would encourage me to spend more time shopping for accessories and less time making him delicious, nutritionally balanced meals from scratch" would probably see me institutionalized for completely losing grip of reality *sigh* but still I dream!)

All right, so maybe what I'm looking for isn't so much a 'lover' as a handyman/valet. *laughing* This actually bodes well for me ... HIM I can at least find in the Yellow Pages, right?! Regardless, I'm with Miz Morissette when she concludes that "there are no worries and certainly no pressure; in the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow".

Dum spiro, spero.

Life's Most Embarrassing Moments #493

Thinking I'm a superstar for parking the car and going in to Tim Horton's for my morning coffee - as opposed to being my usual slacker self and idling in the drive-thru for 2.12 hours - I stride past the handful of city maintenance guys smoking in front of the store, pull open the door, take 1.5 steps and *whoosh* land flat on my youknowwhat, while the gaggle of seniors inside gawk shamelessly.

There's really nothing quite like a big, fat dose of humiliation first thing in the morning to make you want to turn around and go back home ... and pull the covers over your head.

(A belated thank you to the very nice gentleman who rushed over to offer assistance and ask if I was okay ... sorry I was too mortified to respond with anything coherent!)

Alterum ictum faciam.

I Concur ~ Wholeheartedly

"The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved

- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."
~ Victor Hugo

Fortius quo fidelius.

As a Wise Man Once Said ...

"Finish each day and be done with it.

You have done what you could;

some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.

Tomorrow is a new day;

you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit

to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Horas non numero nisi serenas.

Don't Try 'n Stop Me!

I did something very un "me" like today. I grabbed a whole stack of books that have been on my bookshelf/coffee table/kitchen counter/desk, etc. collecting dust and I put 'em in a bag and I promptly dropped 'em off at the nearest charity box. Now, normally that wouldn't be noteworthy 'cause I'm a biiig believer in purging & pitching anything 'n everything that's not being put to good use (or is just plain annoying me) - but, BUT, here's the catch - I had not read these books in their entirety and for me, tossing them unfinished *horror of horrors* would normally be paramount to sacrilege.

Giving myself permission to stop plugging away at a novel I'd completely lost interest in and to discard a biography just because it no longer appealed to me (regardless of the cost involved) was completely liberating! In the past these texts would have sat in my library stressing me out at every glance because they represented items yet-to-be-crossed off my To Do List With No End - that is, until I found the steely resolve to turn every last page, even if it killed me.

Buoyed by my unprecedented disregard for the above-mentioned Law of Irrational Thinking, I'm considering getting really rebellious and finally ditching that basket of clothes in the back of my closet. You know the one I'm talking about, ladies. The one filled with agonizing reminders of the body you used to have - before children and mid-life wear and tear; clothes there's not a snowball's chance in Hell you'll ever don again, but you'll be damned if you'll let the dream die 'cause this is the spring/summer/winter/fall you're going to finally make it happen. *self-deprecating laughter*

You know, I think I may be on to something. If I dump the Barbie wardrobe, then I'd be free to pitch the "Pilates for Dummies" DVD without guilt (yes, the one I couldn't even force myself to watch from start to finish, let alone practice) and the Yoga mat which barely made it out of the packaging (honestly, who was I trying to kid with that one?!) ... and following close behind would be the stack of outdated magazines hailing 'miracle exercises' guaranteed to give me the body I deserve in 3 days or less' and variations of the ever-popular, but humanly unattainable 'drop 6 dress sizes by *insert any upcoming holiday* eating plan that I'm FOR SURE going to start on Monday ... if not next Monday ... or some Monday in 2014.

Complete pandemonium, I can see it now.

Diabolus fecit, ut id facerem.

It's Called "Random Thoughts" for a Reason

Hi, I'm Lux Solis and I'm a "Quote-aholic" (always figured a 12 Step Program of some sort was in my future). One of my favourite (nerdy) pastimes is digging up both razor-sharp, witty quips and deep, big-word using profundities from authors I admire - and then dropping them into correspondence (or blog entries) to make myself look cultured and well-read (or just plain smarter than I really am). Is it working so far? Forget I asked.

Anyway, I stumbled across some non-pensive, kinda smart-assy stuff by Mark Twain tonight that made me smile and thought I'd share a few of my favourites ...

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it."

"In Paris they simply stared at me when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language."

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."

"July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so."

"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

"Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it." (Yikes! *shuffles beloved copy of 'Emma' out of view*)

In retrospect, maybe it's just the number of times he uses the word 'idiot' that endears him to me. His honesty and blunt nature are a refreshing change from all the political correctness we have to trip over these days. I vote for more telling it like it is and more name-calling! Um ... maybe don't quote me on that last part.

Quid quid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.

In the Quiet Hours

“I must learn to love the fool in me
the one who feels too much
talks too much
takes too many chances
wins sometimes and loses often
lacks self-control
loves and hates
hurts and gets hurt
... laughs and cries”
Theodore Isaac Rubin

De die in diem.

Finally! Words I Can Live By

"... it's better to be absolutely RiDicUlOuS than absolutely boring ..."
~ Marilyn Monroe

Indulgentiam quaeso.

"A Single Dream. A World of Hope."

Twenty-nine years ago I participated in the very first Terry Fox Run for Cancer Research. I was 10 years old and, like all Canadians, captivated by the dream of a heroic young man who had lost a leg to the disease. He called it his 'Marathon of Hope' and his goal was to run from coast to coast raising awareness and research funds to "make the hurting stop".

Incredibly, he logged 5,373 kilometres over 143 consecutive days, raising $24.17 million (a dollar for every Canadian, just as he'd hoped) before cancer returned and took his life, a month before his 23rd birthday.

Today I had the privilege of sharing the Terry Fox Run experience with my daughter for the first time; she is 10 years old and the poignancy of the similarity was not lost on me. Over the past year she has been absolutely mesmerized by all things Terry Fox -- his story, his accomplishments, his vision. Our house is brimming with every piece of memorabilia ever produced in his honour. She steadfastly believes, as he did, that every contribution and effort counts, no matter how small. Her enthusiasm and dedication have been infectious. Over the course of a few months her friends and family contributed almost $700 to her cause ... making her happier than any Christmas or birthday gift ever has.

Side by side we walked the 10 km route today, feeling quite proud of our accomplishment - that is, until we remembered that Terry ran an average of 42 km's every day for almost 5 MONTHS ... with a very primitive looking artificial leg. Talk about putting things into perspective!

I don't know what my girl will grow up to be, or what her legacy will be, but if she retains even a fraction of the optimism, determination, integrity and compassion that she models after her hero, Terry Fox, then my hopes and dreams for her life will certainly be realized.

“How many people do something they really believe in? I just wish people would realize that

anything's possible, if you try; dreams are made, if people try."

~ Terry Fox, Sept. 1980

Ringside Seats on Sale Now!

Ladies and Gentlemen, it appears we've got a rivalry brewing right here in our midst at RTFTEOS. "Comment Leaver Extraordinaire" Wendy and recently crowned "Follower of the Month" BWSRN are going head-to-head in a vicious effort to claim the title of First ... well, First ANYTHING - as long as the other one is left out in the cold!

The pressure's been relentless from the Pink Corner and let me tell ya, I have reason to fear. When we were younger, Wendy threatened to 'slap my face right off' AND (as if that wasn't traumatizing enough) to 'not be my cousin anymore, if that were possible'! *pauses for gasps of horror from the reader* What sparked such a scathing piece of correspondence (oh yes, it was in writing and I gleefully preserved it for 20 years so I could mortify her with it when we reached adulthood) ... pffft! like you had to ask - it was about A BOY, naturally. What else would bring 2 otherwise 'sane adolescent girls' (is that an oxymoron? *raised eyebrow*) to blows? Well, technically only one of us would have been swinging, the other would have been running for her life *points to self*. Thankfully my grovelling and snivelling skills were honed early and I managed to keep both my face AND my family status intact!

Not easily intimidated or swayed from his quest for 'Blog Mention Domination', the BWSRN flexes brazenly in the Blue Corner. He winks crassly at Wendy in between shirtless crunches and mouths a sarcastic 'good luck'. There's no bullying of the author on his agenda - not when he has something much more powerful in his arsenal ... Boy Kryptonite. That's right, folks - he's pulling out all the stops and is executing his plan with absolute precision. Spoiling and flattering Ms. Solis with endless kudos, dropping links to this piece of cyberspace in mailboxes across the country, begging for priority placement in the Follower's section, pressing for early notification when a new entry is published - make no mistake, he's a man on a mission and no chick *he says while thumbing his nose in Wendy's direction* is gonna stand in his way. "Bring it!" he scoffs to his scrappy and street smart opponent. This tireless competitor's confidence in his devilish charms and suave demeanour is unshakable. He vows to take his reign as Friend of the Month clear into 2010 - yes, he's that cocky! *insert 12 yr old boy laughter*

I write this thing and even I don't know who's gonna be the last one standing ... the rivalry is FIERCE and neither side has shown any sign of weakness or backing down. Those of you with strong stomachs and nerves of steel, grab a snack and enjoy the show! *ding*

Id imperfectum manet dum confectum erit.

The Good, the Bad, the Downright Depressing

Good News:
My little philanthropist of a daughter raised over $500 for her favourite charity this week! I hope she never loses her idealism and passion for helping others. What a great kid ... and what a great bunch of friends and family who so generously supported her!

Bad News:
Went to renew my $120 parking pass for work and got a $30 parking ticket ... for having an expired parking pass. WTH? Isn't there a law against that kind of piracy?!

Worse News:
Took my SFBC in to have that ABS light problem looked at (yes, the one I've been ignoring for *mumble mumble* awhile now) along with a few other 'minor' things. The dealer called hours later and started with 'It's not good news'. I have no idea what came next, I was too busy chanting "lalalala not listening" with my hands over my ears. I find that to be a really effective way of dealing with unfavourable topics.

Insult to Injury News:
Went to the mailbox after work and found a bill from my lawyer. Apparently he's ploughed through that first million I gave him and would appreciate it if I'd either shell out another couple grand or give him my soul. I'm seriously considering the soul sell-out at this point.

Be sure to tune in next Thursday for more whiney, woe-is-me, tales of gloom and misfortune with your very own, 'ray of Sunshine'.

Ignis aurum probat, miseria fortes viros.

And the "Follower of the Month Award" goes to ...

The Boy Who Shall Remain Nameless!
*cue thunderous applause, balloons, streamers, confetti, marching bands, sky-writing, world media, dancing girls, and cake with lots 'n lots of icing*

In recognition of ...
* his constant, gentle, and laden-with-laughter prodding to make this happen
* his shameless, tireless and selfless promotion of my early efforts here

... and for naming my blog, long before it was even born. Over the past 2.75 years he's watched me teeter, totter and cling to the 'Edge of Sanity', but even in my darkest hour he never stopped seeing the best and the brightest in me; a truly life-changing gift.

I realize being named RTFTEOS's 1st Ever "Follower of the Month" doesn't quiiiiite repay you for your loyalty and patience, Boy - but then, what could?! Hmm, how 'bout if I declare you - in front of God and the 3 other people actually reading this - RTFTEOS's 1st Ever "FRIEND of the Month" Ages 12 & under category *laughing* Yeah, that's spectacular!

Ex abundancia cordis, os loquitor.